Fireflies

Pulse, accelerated, screaming chest

Electric heartbeat, slashing through my chest

what if’s and erratic unpredictability

breathe….inhale.exhale. Think of the forest. gasping for composure

summer is 3 weeks away? what if I don’t have a job? what if I don’t qualify for unemployment…what if I don’t have enough savings to cover my bills…what if…I fail?

I know these things are irrational and hysterical thoughts

catch it. catch the irrational. catch the unreasonable. catch the unreasonable in a jar.

Take the known from the unknown makes it feel…reasonable.

absurd and preposterous!

You shall not tame me beating heart. Let me inject a big dose of control to your brain.

Shoot it through every vein, into every neuron and when it sparks tell it

I’m the authority here bitch! Don’t you remember your function, brain? To keep me in check! Now tell the body to quit the tension.

The body will keep you strong, brain, but you have to keep up too. Don’t slide into the dark sky. I have caught you in my mason jar.

Once I close the lid, you will see brain there is a point.

Watch the firefights light up the night sky-that’s the body, but remember the jar that’s your brain keeps you in with enough room to fly.

But, me, body and mind, separately, you are parts of me.

Your reason is to work together, to work for the same purpose, me. Not to torture me into trusting you unjust expression.

I have the lid and I seal it on tight because I define what choice I choose. I have the decision to modify you how I see fit. Because I’ve got eyes and ears on you.

Watch the fireflies with me and watch that one on the left, that one likes to get into trouble.